We've all heard the adage "when life hands you a lemon, make lemonade". Well sometimes you get a bumper crop of lemons and life just plain sucks for awhile.
The secret sauce of success is to love the lemons life hands you. Easier said than done, you say? I say easier done than living with bitterness and waiting for it to pass.
Impression Management. It's how we 'posture' to make ourselves look good, acceptable, even desirable in the world.
At work, it's the clothes we wear, the degrees we hold, the people we know, the office we inhabit, or the influence we wield.
At home, it's the house we live in, the car we drive, the church we attend, the sports we play, the way we care for our children.
It's all about looking good to avoid rejection. It's about controlling what other people think of us. It's about looking good.
It is what causes people to feel like a fake. It's what creates a double life. When the image we portray is different from who we know we are when nobody's looking. The broader the gap between the two, the harder we grab the reigns of control to keep from being exposed.
A compartmentalized life is about impression management.
Imagine what freedom you might find if you could be all of who you are, wherever you are, regardless of who's watching.
I have often worked in male-dominated fields: law enforcement, healthcare, and even manufacturing. One of the ways I tried to fit in was to be one of the boys. I thought if I somehow disproved the theory that women are emotional, it would garner their respect.
Still it was a no-win. It was inauthentic for me, and it was exhausting. Over time, I had trouble separating my work face from my home life. 'Kick ass and take names' is not the preferred approach when trying to develop trust and intimacy with people you love.
Next time we can talk about how to know when to stay and when to go - at work, at home, or in love.
It's SO worth it! (no charge)
Author Kim Halsey
I love to co-create new lemon recipes with people who think they hate lemons.