A new habit graduated to the level of addiction this year. Drama Addiction.
The World Health Organization defined addiction as a pathological relationship with a mood-altering substance, event, or thing that persists psychotically and has life damaging consequences.
Well into the global pandemic, people experienced unprecedented change in routines, livelihoods and relationships. Without the usual avenues of distraction via shopping, sports, or socialization, many turned to social media for relief.
As people began to rely on digital media for communication, true connection and authenticity faded. Loneliness, relapse and suicide skyrocketed. Domestic violence and mental health issues rose in direct proportion to social distancing and the uncertainty that accompanied a pandemic of this proportion.
By design, gaming and social media create a perceived need for more. They want people to keep coming back. The body can release endorphins 100 times more powerful than morphine in process addictions such as gambling, sex, gaming, and doomscrolling.
You can be dependent on the next Facebook fix without ever ingesting a substance. Drama addiction is a sick connection that allows you to escape legitimate grief by giving you a place outside yourself to focus, compare, or vent so you feel better or at least less alone.
Once hooked, the phenomenon of craving develops and the life damaging consequences begin to pile up. Less sleep, less time, less productivity, and less energy for real life interactions. As it progresses, the user feels increasingly more restless, irritable and discontent as they compare their lives to the fantasy highlight reel. Jobs suffer, love suffers, family suffers and ultimately health suffers.
Many know they should stop but cannot. Particularly in 2020, the fantasy persisted psychotically and FOMO (fear of missing out) became a real thing.
Addictions are impulsive, compulsive and obsessive. It is the obsession that leads to life damaging loss of intimacy, income or integrity. Once fully established, it can be very difficult to break.
Today is a new day. Now is the time to step away from whatever bad habit has gripped your soul. It is never too late for a happy ending.
The choice is yours. I’m here to help. See www.kimhalsey.com for a free checklist from our playbook.
You CAN live your dreams, not their drama.
In the heat of the moment, sometimes we forget that the choice to act or react is ours. And so are the consequences of those choices.
I was reminded today by my mentor at T.E.D.* The Empowerment Dynamic that when I feel triggered, simply ask myself: “Do I want to add to the drama, and ‘play,’ or to relax and ‘pass’?”
Rest and digest is an easy way to remember to stay calm.
What will you choose today? Pass or play? Act or react? What hooks you and what heals you?
Your body knows. Listen closely. Stay safe no matter what is happening around you.
The choice is yours.
Home for the Holidays feels different this year as each step
of the journey brings a new decision point. Touch not, taste not, want not. Everything becomes a cost/benefit analysis.
This little chart gives you a self-check to help with your calculations. What is your risk tolerance? How is your pandemic fatigue coming?
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I feel a creeping sense of dread as I wake up to see undeclared electoral votes leaning red. I have my hand on the rip cord of full retirement and away from social media altogether. My nervous system is shot right now. It appears that black lives don’t matter. Neither do old lives, unborn lives, women’s lives, or any minority voice.
It may be my time is better spent writing from the sidelines about my version of things that matter. It’s possible that I am not one of those things
Someone yesterday wrote: “America is coming out of a toxic abuse situation and just wants the beatings to stop.”
But he got away with it. There is no justice and no protection from men like this.
I feel incredibly sad in this moment.
Thank you for listening to my silent scream.
I have a lifetime of identifying as a moderate Republican until now when the RNC couldn’t even articulate a position statement other than Trump-centered support.
Recently, our nation’s President tweeted “The ‘suburban housewife’ will be voting for me, They want safety.” Yes, women want safety. We all want safety and security and justice and life. For all Americans not just the ones you prefer. But this administration’s actions speak louder than words.
Listening to that law and order rhetoric reminds me of a time when I was the suburban housewife of a police officer in a patriarchal culture. My lived experience allowed a man to terrorize his family at home while positioning himself as a hero to outsiders. His staunch “I will protect my family from all foes” smokescreen left me wondering “Yes but who will protect us from you?”
I don’t feel safe with an elephant in the living room that everyone tiptoes around. No more secret handshakes or skeletons in the closet. No more selective memory, military action or vigilante justice. At some point, We The People have to say “Enough! You don’t get to do that here.”
An abusive man without boundaries or accountability is a danger to himself and those who love him. Trump embodies every negative quality that a “Suburban Housewife” would avoid in a spouse if she wanted to be cherished and securely provided for.
On November 3, I will once again ask “Who will keep me safe from you?” There is no unifying platform in the Republican Party. People vote with their feet and mine will be marching to the polls a changed woman.
One voice, One vote. My enabling days are over.
Stay safe out there.
Kim Halsey is an entrepreneur living in the leap from the life she was programmed to live into the life of her dreams.